One of the first lessons you learn as a foster parent is that you can never assume how a placement will end.
Most parents enter each placement knowing that reunification is the primary goal of foster care whenever it’s safe and possible. But that doesn’t make the journey any easier. They must learn to love a child wholeheartedly while also holding space for the possibility of one day saying goodbye.
There may not be a book that covers every challenge you’ll encounter as a foster parent, but that’s what makes conversations with parents like our latest guests so important.
Grant and Michaele Leathers have been foster parents for five years and have walked through many placements that ended with a variety of outcomes. They have been married for 9 years, and they truly see it as a privilege to be a small part in the stories of the families they work with.
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Key Takeaways
- Prepare your heart for every outcome. There are times when your case worker, or someone familiar with this child’s story, will let you know how they think a case will go; however, that is not a guarantee. As foster parents, we have to prepare our hearts for every outcome and, in many cases, that means saying goodbye to the child who is in our care. While it’s hard to let a child go, the time you spent with them will always be valuable. At their most vulnerable moment, you are providing them a home. Our primary goal as foster parents is to be a safe place for children for as long as they need it.
- One of the greatest things we can offer is stability. Consistency is powerful for the children in our care, whether that’s in offering a routine with the same bedtime every night or simply showing up day after day. We can help regulate these children’s nervous systems after they’ve experienced early trauma by being a calm and predictable presence. Grant and Michaele shared how, for one of their placements, they adhered to a strict bedtime routine and rearranged their schedule so they would never miss it. This signaled to the child in their care that they were safe and could be relied on.
- The foster care community needs support from all angles. Regardless of your role in the foster care community, this is not easy work. Being a foster parent is a vital role, but you don’t have to be a foster parent to make a difference. You might decide to volunteer your time at a local organization, become a certified babysitter so that you can provide much-needed childcare for foster parents, or support agency workers who are underresourced and in danger of burning out. There are countless ways you can step up for vulnerable children and families, and we would love to help you find your place along The River.
Resources
- Thanks for listening! Use code “TBRIpodcast” to get $5 off when you sign up for an Introduction to TBRI session. If you work personally or professionally with children who have experienced adversity, learn more about TBRI on our Trauma Training page.
Meet the Guest
Grant & Michaele Leathers have been foster parents since January 2021 and have walked through many placements. In addition to foster care, Grant works in commercial construction and mentors youth in foster care at a local nonprofit. Michaele is the ministry director at West End Church and serves as the Board Chair at The Houston PEARLS Foundation.